Details Of The Top Twenty Awkward Moments!
by a mountain of gideon's scones
Summary: *This fic is a continuation of 'Top Twenty Awkward Moments In Morganville* Basically each of the awkward moments gets a chapter in which to tell the story/the bit after what happened. One posted per day. Character bashing may occur. They do get better!
1. Awkward Moment 20!

_After requests from some people via PM, I have decided that I will write out each of the 'awkward moments'…_

* * *

_**Number 20:**_

_**The awkward moment when Michael is thirsty and they're out of blood in the Glass House…**_

* * *

Michael staggers downstairs, knowing that allowing himself to get this thirsty is stupid, that when there are three humans in the house he ought to be much more careful. He knows they don't like seeing his crimson eyes and the way that he stares at their throats, desiring their blood.

"Yo, Mike, you look like death warmed up," Shane, not surprisingly, comments. "Oh wait… scratch the warmed up bit," he continues, laughing slightly. Michael ignores him on his way to the fridge…

…which is entirely empty. There isn't even any six month old milk in there, like usual. Every single shelf has been cleared of its contents; hmm, he thinks, he forgot that the shelves were originally white, underneath all the mould and crap that usually covered them.

"Shane, why is the fridge empty?" he asks through gritted teeth, ignoring the beating hearts of Shane and the two girls who are in the living room.

"Oh, we decided that we needed a clean out," Shane responds with a huge grin as Michael turns around. "And I accidentally poured bleach in your sports bottle so I had to pour that away – sorry if you needed it," he continues, spitefully.

Michael takes a huge breath, which is a mistake. This is because the scent of the blood in Eve and Claire's bodies overwhelms him. So he knocks Shane unconscious with a swift move the monster in him has been perfecting for weeks before zooming into the living room and grinning evilly at both his girlfriend and his best friend.

"Well, ladies, I vant to drink your vlood," he says in a fake Transylvanian accent before pouncing on Eve, draining her body entirely before moving onto the screaming Claire…

Now _that_ is what you call awkward.

* * *

_What're your thoughts?_

_Next one will be up tomorrow – involves a hippie with a clothing problem!_

_Vicky xx_


	2. Awkward Moment 19

_**Number 19:**_

_**The awkward moment when… Oliver's house is broken into and all his hippie clothes stolen so he has to walk around naked.**_

* * *

"It _burns_!" someone screeches as they see Oliver walking into the middle of the packed crowd at Common Grounds. Normally this wouldn't be a problem… but the fact that he is naked sort of makes it one.

"I… is it _really_ that small?" one of the vampires who can't get the image out of her head thinks as she considers a blushing Oliver. "The liar!"

Oliver, instantly, tries to rush through the crowds into his office, but the vampires make it much more difficult for him, averting their eyes as they deliberately walk in front of him and make him take fifty million diversions to try and get there.

Finally, he reaches the office door, just to realise that it is locked… and his keys were in his clothes.

"URGH!" he screams, like a little girl, sinking to the floor and crying…

… This is where Richard Morrell finds him merely five minutes later, handing him a blanket to cover his modesty before arresting him for indecent exposure. So he is trailed off to the police station for Amelie to interrogate him, the entire occupancy of Common Grounds laughing at him as he passes.

"Amelie, I didn't mean it," he insists as soon as he sees the woman he loves, the one who seems so betrayed now. "I don't know who it was but… but when I got home, I took a shower. By the time I got out, I found out someone had been in my house and stolen _every single item of clothing_," he explains what happened, as to the reason why he was walking through Common Grounds naked.

"You actually _shower_?" Richard repeats, amazed that he could smell so bad and actually shower!

"Why would you go to Common Grounds or at least not go in through the back?" Amelie questions Oliver, who shudders.

"Someone locked the back door and laced it with silver so I couldn't throw it down," he says, trying to show Amelie the burn on his shoulder from when he tried to break in… all he ends up doing is shedding the blanket entirely, forcing a hesitant Richard to replace it over his shoulders. "I had to go in the main way but I thought it would be emptier… and then I realised that the keys were in my clothes."

He is not aware of the fact that Myrnin is waiting behind the glass with the keys, waiting to see what Amelie does as punishment.

She hesitates for a second before deciding his punishment, a tear sliding down her cheek silently. "I am sorry, Oliver, but you have embarrassed yourself so greatly tonight, I cannot be with you. We are over. Completely and utterly over."

"NO!" he yells as she walks away, trying to stand up but just ends up shedding the blanket again… Richard doesn't bother to pick it up again…

… so Myrnin decides to use the camera on his new phone – Claire taught him how to use it – to take a photo which he then posts on Facebook…

Awkward!

* * *

_Whatcha think? This wasn't as good as I thought it would be!_

_Next one will be up tomorrow – involves a job advert!_

_Vicky xx_


	3. Awkward Moment 18

_**Number 18:**_

_**T**__**he awkward moment when…**_ _**when Richard doesn't shut up when Oliver tells him to (when Richard is talking about Ollypop loving Amelie) so they have to find a new mayor as the old one is dead.**_

* * *

**POST AVAILABLE:**

Would _you_ like to be the next mayor of Morganville?

Do you think that _you_ could control the humans of a town which has a rather big vampire problem?

Could _you_ follow in the footsteps of Richard Morrell?

**Salary: $17,000… **_and your life…_

_High risk of death in this job. Not for the fainthearted._

* * *

"No."

"No."

"No."

This is the response of Amelie as to each of the three possible mayors to replace Richard after Oliver killed him. each one makes her glower even more, especially when Oliver enters the room, trying to get her on his side again because he _loves_ her.

"Any suitable?" he asks her gently, but she moves away and shakes her head.

"We lost the only mayor that we could have ever wanted – because you _killed_ him!" she snaps at him, throwing the handily placed paperweight across the room at him. he lets it hit him in the face… punishment for murdering Richard…

* * *

_How it happened:_

"You love Amelie!" Richard exclaimed as he saw the way that Oliver looked at her: it reminded him of how he looked at Hannah everyday…

"Boy, shut up," Oliver growled at him but Richard shook his head, smiling.

"It's _so_ obvious!" he continued stupidly, Hannah and Claire trying to get him to shut up whilst Amelie goggled in shock that Oliver _loved_ her…

So Oliver, to remove the problem, reached out and snapped Richard's neck…

_Back to the present_

* * *

"Sorry!" he exclaims (Oliver that is) but Amelie shakes her head…

"Maybe _you_ need to be the mayor, in punishment!" she suggests, a smile on her face. "Actually, no, maybe someone else… you would probably _kill_ them all. Distribute these job applications throughout Common Grounds," she hands him a stack of the **POST AVAILABLE**sheets in her hand before shutting her eyes…

Job adverts are the hardest things to do, she thinks, especially when nobody wants the job!

* * *

_Whatcha think?_

_Next one is up tomorrow – involves a bun in the oven!_

_Vicky xx_


	4. Awkward Moment 17

_**Number 17:**_

_**The awkward moment when… Eve realises she is pregnant**_.

* * *

Two pink lines appear on the pregnancy test.

This isn't good.

I am dating a vampire… I don't think that I am going to a) be able to hide the fact that I am pregnant or b) pretend that it is his. Not the best idea, to cheat on a vampire with a human; if you're gonna cheat in Morganville, at least do it with someone who can't procreate!

I shake slightly as I consider the possible fathers. There's Bill, the dude who works in the video shop, or there's Johnny, the delivery driver for the coffee shop… I suppose it _could_ be Don but that was over_ ages_ ago…

There is only one other option, the most likely. Shane Collins.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we had a quick affair the other week, nothing serious, when Claire was off with Myrnin and Michael took a hike to the Council Building… but I never thought.

"Eve, you alright?" Shane asks me as he knocks on the bathroom door, wondering why I'm taking so long when I said I would be three mins.

I push open the door and show him the positive test, making his eyes go wide.

"You're pregnant?" Shane whispers, but Michael walks out of his room at that time and hears the words that I am pregnant. He looks at me to make sure I'm not Claire before his brow furrows.

"You're pregnant?" he repeats, heartbreak evident in his tone and furthered in his face when I nod.

Awkward.

* * *

_Whatcha think?_

_Next one is up tomorrow – involves hair dye!_

_Vicky xx_


	5. Awkward Moment 16

_**Number 16:**_

_**The awkward moment when… it becomes apparent Amelie dyes her hair to make it blonder.**_

* * *

**FOUNDER ISN'T REALLY A NATURAL BLONDE!**

Reporters of the _only_ true Morganville newspaper which you are currently reading, followed the apparently blonde beauty – we can now see why Sam Glass is so infatuated with her – to the local chemists around the corner from her house. We expected her to be picking up some shampoo or something…

… but, instead, she ducked her head and headed straight for the L'Oreal hair dye, choosing a honey blonde colouring for her hair… and we all thought that she was a natural blonde!

It seems that Sam has been deceived… if he has fallen for the Founder for the colour of her locks, it seems he has been mistaken… she is a phoney!

The Morganville Herald brings the freshest news everyday!

Oopsie… bit awkward there!

* * *

_Whatcha think?_

_Next one up tomorrow – involves underage drinking_!

_Vicky xx_


	6. Awkward Moment 15

_**Number 15:**_

_**The awkward moment when… Shane is asked for i.d to buy the beer he loves the most.**_

* * *

He walks into the liquor store and picks up a six pack of his favourite beer of the moment – Carlsberg because it's on offer – and takes it to the counter… he doesn't recognise the person serving at the till but because she is hot and blonde, he flashes his trademark Collins grin and hopes for the best.

"I.d please," she says with a smarmy smile, putting her hand out for the identification to prove he is over 21. His confident smile fades as he struggles with what to say, the queue behind him growing longer and longer.

"Um… I forgot it?" he questions but the woman doesn't falter in her approach, leaving her hand out for the i.d.

"You 21?" she asks and he hopes the question is simply so that he doesn't need to show her his i.d. he nods exuberantly, smiling that he has managed to get away with it until she shakes her head and cancels the sale.

"Wait, what about my beer?" he demands, getting angry because _he wants that beer_! He and Michael put a bet on that he wouldn't be able to get the beer tonight… and _Michael_ probably told her that he isn't 21!

"You're too young – some coke would be better suited for you," she smiles sweetly before moving to serve the next customer…

"Get the beer?" Michael asks as Shane enters the house, dejected.

"Nah, I needed carding," he sighs, hanging his head in shame. "I don't want to talk about it… I'm going to bed."

So Shane goes to bed whilst a thirsty (for alcohol this time) Michael and Eve laugh about how he needed id to get the alcohol!

Awkward!

* * *

_Whatcha think?_

_Next one up tomorrow – involves one of my __**fav**__ songs ever, and one of my fav scenes of the entire series of books!_

_Vicky xx_


	7. Awkward Moment 14

_**Number 14:**_

_**The awkward moment when…**_ _**Amelie accidentally says something wrong in French, even though it's her native tongue.**_

"Amelie, how do you say my name is, in French?" one of the little kids in the school where Amelie is visiting today asks her how to say.

She sighs, having to repeat herself for the fifth time. "Je m'appelle," she says in a flawless French accent which could be because she _is_ French and if her accent wasn't _parfait_, it would be rather embarrassing.

"And do you say, I am five years old?" another kid asks her, making her sigh even deeper, this being the fifteenth time she has answered this. The teachers observe her, wondering whether or not she will behave violently at having to repeat herself so often.

Perhaps the number fifteen is stuck in her mind. Perhaps she is growing tired or bored. Who knows… but when she answers, she accidentally says, "J'ai quinze ans," rather than "J'ai cinq ans." Which, for someone who _is_ French, is more than slightly embarrassing.

The eyebrows of the teachers raise at this and she realises her mistake, shaking her head at her idiocy. She corrects herself instantly, but is extremely flustered and soon stands up and rushes to the door to get out of there…

One of the brighter five year olds, who remembered how to say it, frowns and looks at her teacher.

"Miss Teacher," she says, standing up. "Isn't Miss Amelie wrong? I thought it was J'ai _cinq_ ans?"

"You're right," the teacher agrees with a small smile. "Miss Amelie was wrong… and she is French!"

Awkward for Amelie!

_Whatcha think?_

_Next one is up tomorrow – involves sparkling!_

_Vicky xx_


	8. Awkward Moment 13

_**Number 13:**_

_**The awkward moment when… the vampire archives are broken into, so the humans begin to ask the vampires if they 'sparkle'.**_

"Oliver," someone calls him and he realises with a jolt that it is his _best_ friend, and former employee, Eve Rosser.

"What can I do for you today, Eve?" he sighs as he passes her, standing still for a few moments as he wonders what she wants to do today. She tried to dye his hair last week, so she won't try that again. She insinuated he was gay yesterday, so that had it's monthly airing… who knows?

"Do you sparkle?" she asks him deadpan seriously, referencing the recent break in at the vampire archives, something she _swore_ she wasn't involved with.

"_You_ broke in?" he asks her dangerously, as if her question is her inadvertent confession that she broke in and read Twilight… that she is the one who keeps sticking quotes from the book around town in huge letters of paint that take _forever_ to get off.

"Nope," she pops the 'p' as she takes another chew at her chewie in her mouth. "But it's not hard to get the black market material around here, Ollypop; pretty much _everyone_ has read Twilight now…and most of the other vampire books as well," she continues, smiling widely.

Oliver rolls his eyes at this fact before considering mass genocide of the town so that he doesn't have to hear from _another_ person about sparkling. Eve isn't being very original today; he has already been asked that question by thirty odd students from Morganville School when they came in on their lunch break and god knows how many others during the day.

…

Meanwhile, at the local television station, the newsreader Katie Molion decides to have a bit of fun…

"And there _is_ the age old question," she decides to finish with, a twinkle in her eye. "Do vampires _really_ sparkle?"

Katie is now at the top of the hitlist…

_Whatcha think?_

_Next one up tomorrow – involves the sun!_


	9. Awkward Moment 12

_**Number 12:**_

_**The awkward moment when… a news team goes into Morganville and wants to interview the residents in the middle of the day**_

* * *

"So, what do _you_ think of Morganville, Texas?" the news reporter asks one of the human residents in the middle of Founders Square at noon. "I mean, it's almost as if there is a bit of _Europe_ here, it is that well maintained!"

The human grimaces, knowing that they are only allowed in the Square because the news team is there, compiling info on a variety of different towns in Texas, before smiling sweetly, knowing that they can get their own back on the vampires here.

"Well, you see, there are a group of people who have a power complex, those who like to be in control," the human says with a grin, staring at Oliver who is standing behind her in the shade, glaring. He is next to be interviewed, in the middle of the day… brilliant idea! "They are a minority but have managed to get control of the town, which isn't very fair but!" she shrugs before walking off, flipping her hair at Oliver who rolls his eyes and grimaces again.

"And now we have Oliver, who seems to have forgotten his surname!" the news reporter says to him. He shudders as the sun's rays hit him full on in the face and he knows that he only has a few minutes before he starts to go red… "So, Oliver, what do _you_ think of Morganville?"

"I think that Morganville is an absolutely marvellous place to live; we have the greatest set up of people in power and the most beautiful woman in the world lives here," he sighs, trailing off as he thinks about Amelie.

"Sounds like Oliver is in love!" the reporter says with a smile, making little kissie noises at the man who could destroy her without qualm if it wasn't for the fact that she is filming this.

Oliver is about to agree until he spots Sam in the corner, the shade covering him. He can see the anger on his face that he, Oliver, would confess to his love for Amelie on television when he can't because he is too young to go out into the sun…

"Yes, I am," he smiles vindictively in Sam's direction, who glowers back. "Her name is Amelie and she loves me back. nobody could get between us," he continues, before backing out of the interview and returning to the shade.

The news reporter says, "Well, this is a very confusing town. But if you are looking for the true romance of the story, come here and see Oliver and Amelie… wait, is that person _burning_?"

Sam rushes into the sun to be interviewed, wanting to show that _he_ is the lover of Amelie, not Oliver. But the sun begins to burn him, meaning that Oliver has to rush back out again to drag him to the side before he dies and shows the world that there are vampires in Morganville.

"And look at this, the poor sun allergic man has been rescued by Oliver, the man who proudly admitted his love!" the news reporter says with glee. "You have to admit, that he is the best man we have ever interviewed. Oliver, we _heart_ you!"

* * *

_Whatcha think?_

_Next one up tomorrow – involves a debate with an unlikely winner!_

_Vicky xx_


	10. Awkward Moment 11

_**Number 11:**_

_**The awkward moment when… Myrnin and Claire get into a debate about science and Claire wins.**_

* * *

"No, _I'm_ right!" Myrnin yells at Claire about the issue of gene probing. "It's when you stick a piece of wood in a body!" he screeches his idea as to what gene probing is so loudly that it almost destroys her ear drums.

"No, gene probing is to do with when you want to see if someone's genes, or their DNA, matches up with the specimen sample in like crime scenes or paternity suits," Claire argues back, getting angry now she has said the same thing three times. "It's like on CSI – you know, your favourite show! They gene probe on there when they are proving whether the suspect is guilty or not! Or on Jeremy Kyle, when they are arguing about whether or not the baby is their's! They gene probe there, in that situation!"

He shakes his head and stands up angrily, unable to believe that it could be anything other than stabbing someone: you probe someone when you want to attack them, don't you?

"Let's settle this once and for all," he says, digging his phone out and calling Amelie and Dr Mills. "Amelie, Dr Mills, please come down here via the portals now – I need you to tell Claire she is wrong."

He smiles, certain that he is right whilst Claire simply smiles because she knows that Amelie won't have a clue but that Dr Mills will agree with her: he gene probes all the time! So, the guests arrive in a speedy style, Amelie bored and not wanting to be there whilst Dr Mills is simply apprehensive about what he could be wanted for…

"What is it _now_ Myrnin?" Amelie asks him sharply, sitting down in her chair in the lab.

"Tell Claire that she's wrong," Myrnin demands but Amelie shakes her head.

"_Why_ is she wrong?" she asks him back.

"She thinks that gene probing is when you test someone's DNA to prove relations or whatever, but it is _actually_ when you stick some wood in a body, preferably alive!" he yells at her, getting all heated up in the moment. Claire rolls her eyes, getting rather annoyed that he just won't accept he is wrong.

Amelie turns to look at Dr Mills who is smiling slightly, unable to keep it in. "Well, Dr, who is right? Something tells me that Myrnin's theory is incorrect," she asks him.

"Claire is correct, Myrnin is wrong," he summarises, deciding not to go into _how_ far wrong Myrnin was. It wouldn't be good for his life expectancy…

So, in the debate of science, the realm where Myrnin 'rules' apparently, he has been defeated by a 17 year old girl.

How awkward!

* * *

_Whatcha think?_

_Next one up tomorrow – involves a makeover!_

_Vicky xx_


	11. Awkward Moment 10

_**Number 10:**_

_**The awkward moment when… Common Grounds gets a makeover to end up being a shrine to Amelie but Sam is still alive.**_

* * *

The walls are pink and littered with photos of Amelie from the more recent era, since the camera was invented. Behind the counter are the huge oil paintings from before that time, all showing either Amelie on her own or with Oliver in a way that shows a relationship between the two of them.

The customers ogle the portraits showing their perfect Founder in remarkable styles: Tudor dressing, on top of a hill in the middle of the day, herself as a small child – everything…

… as well as the portraits and photos, there are letters of love towards Amelie from Oliver, as well as her rather dignified responses:

_**From Oliver to Amelie:**_

_My dearest Amelie, I absolutely adore you and it would please me greatly if you would marry me…_

_**From Amelie to Oliver:**_

_Unfortunately, I am pre-engaged to someone in the future and so cannot marry you, I'm afraid._

"Oliver, why did you do this?" Amelie shouts at him in front of the customers, showing her intense displeasure. "You have made out as if I am _dead_ and this is a shrine to me!"

"I love you!" he yells back, confessing his intense love for her in three simple words. "I absolutely adore you, Amelie and I want to marry you, as I said many years ago!"

She shakes her head and smiles slightly, for some strange reason that the people in the café cannot understand… "Oh, but Oliver, I love Sam, not you. And the pre engagement is just about to come into action…"

Just at that moment, Sam decides to head to Common Grounds… he stops on the inside and sees the shrine to Amelie, the ode of Oliver's love to her…

"What the _hell_?" he asks, unable to believe the direct display of love for Amelie from Oliver. His temper rises as he sees Amelie with Oliver. "You're with him? I can't believe you. Goodbye!" he gets the wrong end of the stick, thinking Amelie doesn't _care_ about having Oliver's addiction to her shown to the world.

Awkward turtles…

* * *

_Whatcha think?_

_next one up tomorrow – involves LIES, ALL THE WORDS ARE LIES!_

_Vicky xx_


	12. Awkward Moment 9

_**Number 9: (into single figures now!) **_

_**The awkward moment when… someone writes books on Morganville, just for all the facts to be wrong**_

* * *

"This is _utter_ drivel!" Amelie yells as she throws Carpe Corpus on the table of her home, which she shares with her partner, Sam Glass.

"What is it _now_, Amelie?" Sam asks her as he pulls her into his shoulder. She shakes her head and wipes the tears from her eyes, unable to believe the events of the past three books.

"You, you _die_!" she wails into his shoulder, unable to accept it. She sobs and sobs into his shoulder, ignoring his attempts at reasoning with her, until the tears finally fade.

"Honey, it's only a book series – fiction – that isn't true," he consoles her gently, regretting letting her cry into his shirt because it is now soaking wet. "I mean, your Father _is_ dead and he isn't back in town, is he? No, so just relax and remember that I'm not going to die… how do I die, anyway?" he asks inquisitive as to how this author could have killed him, with Bishop back in the life of his daughter.

"He drained you… we had lost control and then we poisoned ourselves as we knew he would kill one of us, but he… he chose _you_!" Amelie wails, and Sam instantly regrets it because she is beginning to cry again.

"Amelie, he isn't here, is he?"

"No," she replies quietly, not seeing the purpose of the question…

"Well then he can't do anything, can he? That's fiction, not the prophecy of the future!" he exclaims loudly, kissing the forehead of the woman he loves softly.

This **would **be ok but…

"Hello?" Amelie answers the phone to Oliver, wondering what he could want _now_.

"Just thought you should be aware, your Father is back in town and came to me because he thought I still loved you, and you I… how wrong he is," Oliver snorts…

… uhoh… Bishop's back.

* * *

_Clarification: the lies told in MV would be the fact that Bishop went to Oliver & that Oliver doesn't love Amelie…_

_Whatcha think?_

_Next one up tomorrow – involves one of my favourite songs and scenes from MV!_

_Vicky xx_


	13. Awkward Moment 8

_**Number 8:**_

_**The awkward moment when…'This is War' by 30 Seconds To Mars begins to play just as they all stand with Amelie in Feast of Fools.**_

* * *

Amelie stands up and faces Bishop, feeling as if she is the invader in the situation, rather than the other way around: he is the one who has walked in on _her_ town…

"I think you know that this isn't what I wanted," she sighs, this evident in the way that she actually welcomed him to town, rather than fighting his sorry butt straight away.

"I know that you are weak and did not wish to face me, yes," her father fights back with words, standing up to match her, his scrawny height towering over her petite frame. Behind her, her supporting vampires assemble, as they also do behind Bishop until…

_A warning to the prophet, to the liar, to the honest_

_This is war_

This begins to play, thirty seconds to mars' famous 'This Is War' song…

… just as the war begins between Amelie and her Father. This isn't awkward _whatsoever_.

"Ooops, sorry," the vampire responsible for having this go off says as they put their phone on silent.

"CHARGE!" Bishop yells and his vampires descend on this vamp, causing the phone to get stuck on those two lines of lyrics...

... perfect!

* * *

_Whatcha think? This was my fav one, simply because it was one of my fav scenes and one of my fav songs!_

_Sorry it's a bit short_

_I also made up the dialogue_

_Next one up soon – involves a change in someone's clothing choices!_

_Vicky xx_


	14. Awkward Moment 7

_**Number 7:**_

_**The awkward moment when… Morganville's clothing store runs out of Amelie's clothes so she has to wear *shock horror* jeans**_

* * *

"Are you actually kidding me?" Amelie cries out as she is told the news as she paces around the clothes shop in Morganville. It's the only one that sells brand new, designer clothing – she wouldn't _ever_ wear something from a secondhand shop – and she cannot believe the news she is hearing.

"Yes, we are extremely sorry for this, Founder," the woman in the shop says quietly, stepping out of the easy killing reach for the vampire. "We thought you would have enough for another month… could you… could you not just wear the same clothes twice?" she suggests hesitantly, already regretting the idea by the time the words are out of her mouth.

"I throw the clothing out as soon as I wear it – to be seen wearing the same thing again is just _not_ what I do," she hisses angrily. "These are my final clothes – and I can assure you that I am not wearing them until you manage to fetch me new ones!"

The woman in the shop nods and swallows loudly. "We… we can get you some different clothes to wear until the new order comes in?" she suggests and Amelie nods, knowing she will not like the clothes but it _has_ to be better than anything else… including wearing the same clothes all the time, like Oliver.

So the woman leads Amelie through the shop, having observed the figure of the woman she is searching for and identifying the clothes that will suit her to perfection. "Madame, these are perfect for you," she says, handing Amelie a pair of skinny black jeans…

… which Amelie looks at in disbelief. "Are you expecting _me_ to wear _those_?" she confirms and the human assistant nods.

"Ma'am, they are prefect for your figure; they will make you look exquisite until you get your usual clothing," she urges, making Amelie sigh deeply. This is what she needs to do…

"Your store will pay for the next _six_ months of my clothing for this mistake as well as this shopping trip," she grudgingly agrees…

… so Amelie has to wear jeans!

* * *

_Whatcha think?_

_Next one up tomorrow – involves running and babies… _

_Vicky xx_


	15. Awkward Moment 6

_**Number 6:**_

_**The awkward moment when… Claire finds out she's pregnant and Shane runs a mile**_

"Honey, I need to tell you something," Claire says quietly, knowing that she needs to confess this now because otherwise it will end up being Oliver's big mouth spragging the news to Shane.

"What is it?" Shane asks her in response, his hand stroking her hair gently. She doesn't know whether or not she can tell him, for fear that he will react negatively.

"I'm pregnant," she responds, and his hand freezes in her hair, unable to process this news. He ought to be happy but he isn't…this has ruined his life.

He wrenches himself up from the sofa and leaves his girlfriend sitting there, heartbroken that he could react so negatively… "Shane, where are you going?" she asks him, standing up and facing him with her eyes filled with tears.

"Anywhere but here," he responds, grabbing his jacket and running out of the house faster than you could actually say, "I'm pregnant."

Ooops… not the best reaction to a pregnancy there!

_Whatcha think? Sorry it's shorter!_

_Next one will be up tomorrow – includes a rather strange occurrence in the hospital!_

_Vicky xx_


	16. Awkward Moment 5

_**Number 5:**_

_**The awkward moment when… a human baby is born a vampire**_

* * *

The baby slides out of its mother and is born on the 2nd August 2010 to two _definitely_ human parents. After all, Richard and Hannah Morrell are the 'rulers of the humans' and so aren't exactly going to switch hearts for fangs… and the entire fact that Hannah _was_ pregnant shows that they must be human…

"It's a girl!" the doctor announces, but his brow furrows as he considers something. The baby… it is definitely screaming and crying, but her chest doesn't seem to be moving up and down with the beating of her heart…

… oh and the sudden crimson colour of her eyes with the equally momentous appearance of mini fangs in an otherwise empty mouth suggests that this baby isn't human…

… it's a vampire.

"What do you _mean_, we have a vampire baby?" Richard yells at the doctor whilst his baby is rushed away for 'analysis'.

"I mean, the child needs blood and doesn't have a heartbeat: I don't know what town _you_ live in, but in Morganville that pretty much shows that it is a vampire," the doctor snaps back at the new father, for no reason other than because it is so strange…

"Don't speak to me like that," Richard snaps back, already dialling Amelie's number. "Amelie? Yep… it's Richard… a girl… no, there's an issue… she's a vampire."

Awkward!

* * *

_Whatcha think?_

_Next one up tomorrow – involves a redecoration and a murder!_

_Vicky xx_


	17. Awkward Moment 4

_**Number 4:**_

_**The awkward moment when… someone tries to give Myrnin a makeover and he snaps their neck to finish the redecoration of his lab: covered in human bodies**_

* * *

"Myrnin, I have to say that I think you need a makeover," Amelie informs her best friend with a straight face, entirely serious as to believing this. She has been thinking this for the past five centuries as with each new era they moved into, he stayed in the one before it.

"I don't need anything of the sort," he snaps back at her. "_You_ are the one who insists on wearing hideous pastel colours and those suit things… and _pearls_! You aren't your Mother, Amelie, you don't need to dress so conservatively!" he continues, regretting the mother jibe as her eyes narrow at him.

"My Mother has nothing to do with this; I believe that I am able to wear whatever I want _in my own town_!" she retorts angrily, sort of proving his point.

"Then, in my own home, I ought to be allowed to wear what I want to!" he answers, grinning widely as he thinks he has won.

"You're currently standing where?" she asks in response, smiling as he remembers he is standing in _her_ office, not in his laboratory which, in her opinion, isn't even a home.

"That isn't the point," he blusters, trying to get back on track that he doesn't need a makeover and that the last five attempts of hers to get someone into his lab to give him one have failed.

"Have your assistants not been coming – the ones I sent, I mean?" she questions, having a suspicion but not wanting to go to his lab to confirm it: the last time she went there she was attacked by his machine called 'The Potatron' which isn't very good, is it?

"Nope," he pops the p, as lots of people do in Morganville, and begins to head back to the portal, suddenly worried that the aroma of his new decorations in his lab may be able to be smelt by the oldest nose in the world. "Anyway, got to dash, lots of work to be doing in my revamping of the lab – no pun intended!" he calls over his shoulder cheerily as he heads out of the office and back to his lab.

He begins to get on with the redesigning of his lab, wondering just where body number 1 should go: next to number 5 or number 3? One is blonde but one is redheaded and he doesn't know whether or not they will clash…

There is a knock at the door and he wonders whether or not it is another attempt at him being made over, at Amelie's insistence. True enough, the person heading down the stairs is one of Amelie's human employees, hesitant at entering the lair of the trap door spider – ooohh, that's another way he can get bodies for his redec as well as this _really_ helpful service from Amelie.

"You here to give me a makeover?" he confirms, to make sure that this isn't some sort of trick or something. But she nods, so he knows he has to do this. "Sorry about this then: Amelie ought to know better!"

He reaches over in a somewhat cheery manner and turns her head quickly, snapping her neck so that the long black hair falls over her shoulder at an unnatural angle…

She is _perfect_ to go next to body number 4!

* * *

_Whatcha think?_

_Next one up tomorrow – includes a long overdue confession… __**AND WE ARE IN THE TOP THREE!**_

_Vicky xx_


	18. Third Place Goes To

_**Number 3: third place goes to this awkward moment!**_

_**The awkward moment when… Amelie finally tells Sam she loves him, just for him to say, "Sorry, love, I've moved on!"**_

* * *

She sighs, knowing that this is the perfect time to finally confess her love to him, after so many years. She has been denying it verbally for half a century, yet knew for the entire time that it was the truth, but knows now that it is high time to tell the man involved in the situation that she loves him.

So she prepares herself to look absolutely magnificent, hoping that on looks alone he will accept her back without considering the pain she put him through for the past fifty years… but he _loves_ her, she thinks, he _has_ to take her back, if only to quash the pain in his own chest at her leaving of him.

Carefully, she places the necklace he gave her the other year in a parcel left on her doorstep in an almost knock off ginger style fashion – though even if it wasn't for his scent, she would have known that it was him anyway because _who_ else would leave such an exquisite present on her door? – around her neck and prepares to go and intercept her true love in Common Grounds.

She doesn't care that she is going to do this in front of such a large audience, even though she is normally so antisocial, for it is only something she ought to have done a long time ago and, anyway, every word will be the truth…

Quickly, she slips into Common Grounds and approaches the handsome redheaded man who stiffens as he recognises the woman behind him from smell alone. Every single person in the café, human and vampire, turns to look at her because she is so beautiful, though the majority of them do not know her identity as the Founder. They do not know that she is the one who keeps them all here, with Myrnin's assistance, for she has shrewd herself in a cloak of mystery and held her cards close to her chest…

"Sam," she breathes his name as he turns to face her, shock and confusion on his face. She barely manages to resist reaching out to touch his face, deciding that actually telling him how she feels firstly needs to be the best option.

"What are you doing here?" he asks her sharply, much sharper than what she had imagined he would be like. _It must be the shock of seeing me here_, she tries to counter argue with herself, somehow knowing on the inside that this isn't _really_ the case.

"I… I came to tell you that I made a mistake all those years ago and that I truly love you… I should never have let you go," she confesses, her eyes beginning to shed the tears of _true_ emotion. "I love you, Sam, and I want you _so_ badly," she continues, sighing deeply.

He seems stunned by this information, his eyes suddenly becoming more defended and less open. If he had heard this information last year, he would have jumped right on her offer and ignored the pain she caused him for so long.

"I'm sorry, Amelie, but I don't care," he says bluntly, knowing this is the only way to get it across. The pain hits her like a slap in the face, utter shock that he could not want her spreading through her body whilst the people watching this situation unfold gasp loudly. "You see… you told me to move on. For so many years you told me to do so, but I ignored you, clinging onto you… until last year, when I released you. I'm in love, Amelie, with someone else. Sorry," he explains, watching with a detached sense of pain as she begins to sob, entirely devastated by this information.

WHAT! She thinks, before turning away. How painful, in front of everyone… and awkward.

* * *

_Whatcha think? _

_Next one up tomorrow – involves a rather painful moment for someone!_

_Vicky xx_

P.s…

Sam dashes after Amelie and, for a second, she thinks he was simply joking. That is until he says, "Oh yeah, can I have the necklace back? Thanks!"


	19. Second Place Goes To

_**Number two: the second place spot is occupied by this!**_

_**The awkward moment when… Myrnin's silver gun, the one that is used to kill Bishop, doesn't work**_

* * *

Myrnin pulls the trigger on the silver pellet gun thing that is _his_ own design and manufacture, but nothing happens. Nothing. He expected there to be an explosion of silver powder that _seems_ dangerous but actually isn't to the user of the gun… Michael, on the other hand could be in a slightly more perilous situation…

… Or he would be, _if the gun actually worked_!

"Shit," the elderly vampire used a more modern profanity than usual in his desperation. Though Bishop is down right now, he could get up at any time and his little Claire is in the firing line…

He looks at the gun and realises that there is a blockage in the middle barrel that is meaning the cartridges cannot get out. He needs a few minutes to get it sorted, maybe less, so considers which of the three humans to give to Bishop as a sacrifice for the others so that they don't die… well, to kill his little Claire would be to kill his own heart and Eve has just gotten engaged to Michael… so the only one left is Shane.

"Shane, if you want the rest of us to live, sacrifice yourself," Myrnin says quite evenly, already beginning work on fixing the gun. This makes the others go WHAT but the human realises that he is in the wrong and that Amelie will probably kill him anyway for being on Bishop's side, albeit accidental.

So the human goes into the lion's den, so to speak, and soon Bishop is chowing down on his neck, Claire and Eve screaming all the time. That is only a distraction for Myrnin, who ends up shutting his own ears to be able to concentrate. So he begins to poke different things down the gun, this seeming rather wrong to certain dirty minded people present, but he soon realises that it is in perfect working condition and that it needs to work now or they are all dead, since they just fed Bishop human blood.

Claire seems to be getting louder, so Myrnin quickly compulses her to be silent, as Eve was already by Michael, before he aims the gun at Bishop's heart. He pulls the trigger and… click… just the noise of him pulling the trigger.

Bishop's smile widens as this happens, him realising that the device is broken but probably knows that there are fifty million replacement models (Myrnin is nothing but prepared) yet they are far away.

"Children, if you want to follow my lead, I think you ought to," Myrnin says, already turning away towards the hole in the wall. "Run!" he clarifies over his shoulder…

… and that is what happens when you forget to put the magazine in!

* * *

_Whatcha think?_

_Next one is up tomorrow - *sobs* LAST ONE!_

_Vicky xx_


	20. The Top Awkward Moment In Morganville!

**QUICK A/N: REVIEW REPLY IS DODGED AGAIN, AND ALSO FF ISN'T SHOWING UP HOW MANY OF YOU REVIEWED ON THE REVIEWS TAB. I HAVE NO INCLINATION TO GO THROUGH ALL THE REVIEWS ETC AND PM YOU ALL (AND SOME OF YOU I CAN'T PM) SO I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU FOR YOUR REVIEWS AND SUPPORT!**

* * *

_**Number one:**_

_**This is the awkward moments top moment, what I perceive to be the top most awkward moment in all of Morganville!**_

_**The awkward moment when… and Oliver are really getting into it and Sam pops up, saying, "Yo, dudes, I'm back from the dead… holy shit, why are you kissing my girl?"**_

* * *

He kisses her with about as much passion as someone who pretended to not be capable of loving anyone for five centuries is capable of. The amount there is debateable: is it an absolute _avalanche_ of passion, since he has had it pent up for s o l o n g or is it simply a little fizzle since he doesn't know _how_ to be passionate?

Nobody knows besides those two and that isn't the entire point of this awkward moment, so let's get back there.

Amelie kisses him back, guiding him on how to kiss her properly, since Sam gave her lessons in the past. She thinks fleetingly of him but then refocuses on the present, knowing that he is dead and that she needs to focus on the kiss in the present, since she is in _love_ again… well, just continuing the love from before after a short break.

"I love you," he murmurs against her lips and she smiles back, simply enjoying the moment…

… in the meantime, however, Sam is racing through the streets to get back to his Amelie. How he was raised from the dead is not relevant, though it is probably pertinent to say that Myrnin did it because he _suspected_ something between his oldest friend and longest enemy so wanted to bring her back to her senses.

So, Sam is dashing up the streets and has just arrived at the house of his lover, hearing strange noises from her office but thinking she has finally embraced the modern world and is watching something like The Notebook. This means he rushes faster and faster, a huge grin on his face as he considers how he could soon be seeing his wonderful Amelie, the faithful woman he has always loved, again.

He runs into the office to be embraced with a sight that he never thought he would see: Amelie, _his_ Amelie, kissing Oliver, someone she had always 'hated'. He forgot that hate stems from love…

"Yo, dudes, I'm back," comes out of his mouth before he can stop himself, the grin sliding off of his face as he speaks. "Holy shit, why are you kissing my girl?" explodes out of his mouth this time, as _Oliver continues to kiss Amelie_!

He shakes his head, wondering whether or not he is seeing this right.

This could be a _long_ second chance at life… or is it his third?

* * *

_Whatcha think?_

_Last ever awkward moment -.-_

_Thanks for reading!_

_Vicky xx_


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